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Miss it for real - SotW [Week of 4-28-13]

An old friend came back into my life, for a night. I mentioned that drinking would make me emotional and I didn't want to have another breakdown. Turns out I exchanged numbers with this random, Leonidas, after rallying his friends to kick this guy out who was messing with my other friend. I didn't have a breakdown that night. Because I heard from you. And I lay my head on my old friend's shoulder, and he knew that he could prevent the heartache that you would create. And I have not seen him since.

SotW 4/28
Albany Kev Brown

Yo, I don’t even know what to say
I made this beat and thought about you today
It’s been a long time since I seen you last
It’s like time move too fast to keep ya grasped
At least sometimes it does
I was gonna call but I know you stay busy and all

I keep thinking about the first date
Driving around looking for a parkin space
We had a lot in common, but at the same time we worlds apart
We walked through the park, had nice talks and all that
I wonder what it was that made you fall back
I wonder what it was but I won’t dwell on that
We never hung out that much but still, when we did hang out the whole vibe was chill
I miss your goodnight kisses for real, I miss your goodnight kisses for real

I don’t even know what to say
I wrote this verse thinking about you today
It’s been a while since I been around your way
I’m thinking sometime around April-May
I went back to my hometown for a minute
Ended up staying down around here and, Definite
questions and no answers and no advances left me down with slim chances
Yo, I had to do what I had do, sad I had to roll on a friendship brand new
It coulda been a little romance too, last I seen you had a new tattoo
Didn’t hang out that much but still, but when we did hang out the whole vibe was chill
I miss your goodnight kisses for real, I miss the conversation for real
I miss hanging out with the girl for real, I miss hanging out with the girl for real

dial it down

You're that friend - SotW [Week of 4-21-13]

We met when I didn't need you and it got to be where I wanted nothing but. I got so addicted and so crazy, so early. As per usual. Maybe this time was different because you reciprocated. In the beginning. As per usual. And now I'm writing broken records. Still not the one breaking them.

SotW 4/21
gun-shy Grizzly Bear

The sky keeps staring at me
Frozen in my tracks
(Nothing else to see)
And when I move my face left
You're always standing there
(A shadow I can't see)
And even then I can't trace
You're walking away

I put my ears to the ground
Always pushing down
(Nothing I can hear)
I found the worst half in me
We're cut off at the knees
(Can't even take a stand)
Against your words and beliefs
We didn't wanna freeze

(All of the years, leaving me here
Gun-shy)
I don't want to say it all again (the pain, losing my aim)
Never seem to see
(And why?) Do I always feel it all the same
The blisters in my eyes
(Recite) A guide that has only led me stray
And even as I limp (you smile)

The cold keeps tearing at me
Slowing down my blood
(Unable to speak)
I left my mind long ago
Choosing some false
(Always letting go)
And when I try to face you
You're walking away

(All of the years, leaving me here
Gun-shy)
I don't want to say it all again (the pain, losing my aim)
Never seem to see
(And why?) Do I always feel it all the same
The blisters in my eyes
(Recite) A guide that has only led me stray
And even as I limp (you smile)

tunes.

Everything, with time - SotW [Week of 4-14-13]

Too many times I've been told I am better than that. I hate finding out who you really are. I love memories, but I hate knowing that with time I won't remember what was good about you.

SotW 4/14
Shuggie Foxygen

I live in the parlor but I'm down the street
seeking the flowers off the floor and drinking tea

But you don’t love me, that’s news to me

I met your daughter the other day, well that was weird
She had rhinoceros shaped earrings in her ears
But, hey man have a soda, it’s on the house
Remember what I told you about the rooms inside this house

But you don’t love me, that’s news to me
That’s news to me, that’s news to...
I think you and I could be in Iove

If you believe in yourself you can free your soul
My heart is breaking in two and I don’t know what to do

But you don’t love me, that’s news to me
That’s news to me, that’s news to...
I think you and I could be in Iove

If you believe in yourself you can free your soul
My heart is breaking in two and I don’t know what to do
You were right with the world, you can make it feel good
I’m happy if she’s happy

old school

Horse baby - SotW [Week of 4-7-13]

I took back that book you borrowed - and whatever else I saw that I wanted. My heart though, I couldn't find it. I wasn't willing to dig through the trash.

SotW 4/7
My Number Foals

You don’t have my number
We don’t need each other now
We don’t need the city
The creed or the culture now

Cause I feel
I feel alive
I feel, I feel alive
I feel that the streets are all pulling me down

So people of the city
I don’t need your counsel now
And I don’t need your good advice
Cause you don’t have my lover’s touch

You don’t have my number
We don’t need each other now
The creed or the culture
We can move beyond it now

Now the wolf is knocking at my door
Bang-bangin’, ask for more
Stand here, stand tall
We could move beyond these walls

I don’t need your counsel
I don’t need these city’s streets
I don’t need that good advice
Cause we can move beyond it now

You don’t have my number
We don’t need each other now
The creed or the culture
You don’t have my lover’s touch

I feel
I feel alive

Do you even hear me?
Do you even know my name?
Let me see the ocean there
I’ll hold you in my arms tight

Can you hear me?
And are you even listening now?

You don’t have my number
And we don’t need each other now
You can’t steal my thunder
You don’t have my lover’s touch

You don’t have my number
I don’t need your love now
I don’t need the city streets
The creed or the culture now

the music.

Where I started - SotW [Week of 3-31-13]

I went away and thought more than twice about not coming back. You don't rule my city, but you sure try. Just wait until the end of the day, the end of their rope. You'll turn around and it'll happen just like Dry Your Eyes. "Gently pushes me back and she looks at me straight. Turns around so she's now got her back to my face. Takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away." I'll be ahead. Where I started when we first met.

SotW 3/31
Zeds Dead Trouble

I knew that you were going to give me trouble.

On loss - SotW [Week of 3-24-13]

It doesn't help knowing that it's not the first time. Reminded that everything ends - at least we are lovers. Spring cleaning, clean slates, timing, and heartbreaks. 'I swear we were friends,' and I may always.

SotW 3/24
Bahamas Lost in the Light

I'm lost in the light
I pray for the night
To take me, to take you too

After so many words
Still nothin's heard
Don't know what we should do

So if someone could see me now, let them see you

It was my greatest thrill
But we just stood still
You let me hold your hand 'til I had my thrill

Even countin' sheep
Don't help me sleep
I just toss and turn right there beside you

So if someone could help me now, they'd help you too

They'd help you to
See you through
All the hard things we've all gotta do
Cause this life is long
And so you wouldn't be wrong

Bein' free, leavin' me on my own

And I held my own
Still I rattled your bones
I said some awful things and I take them back

If we would try again
Just remember when
Before we were lovers, I swear we were friends

So if someone could see me now, let them see you

Let them see you
See you through
All the hard things we've all gotta do
Cause this life is long
So you wouldn't be wrong

Bein' free, leavin' me on my own

Watch

Only in hindsight - SotW [Week of 3-18-13]

Sometimes when I cry, or think too hard, or just absolutely love a moment, I wish someone could see me. Someone really knowing how I am, realizing that I am still me - when no one else is watching. 

SotW 3/18
John Fullbright Jericho

Go searching through this world
Wait on something to unfurl
Thinking back on toys and paper dolls
All I ever find are walls

Try to find myself out East
Maybe find comfort there at least
When I got there all I found
Somebody burned it to the ground

So let your trumpets blow
Round the walls of Jericho
Let your mighty voices sound
Till the walls come tumbling down

I searched for days for you out West
And I was greeted like a guest
Into the desert's open arms
Finding not your childlike charms

If these thoughts I hold be true
I lay down my traveling shoes
Let the vines grow over me
Let the Earth swallow my dreams

Let my trumpet blow
Round the walls of Jericho
Let my mighty voice be heard
Then speak not another word

Throw your arrows and your slings
And your other precious things
Outside your gate, I will stand tall
As you cower behind your wall

Look inside yourself to see
Where these walls appear to be
Let your soul step out to breathe
Swallow whole your dignity

And let your trumpet blow
Round the walls of Jericho
Let your mighty voices sound
Till the walls come tumbling-- come a-tumbling-- yeah

Vid

Why the day is long - SotW [Week of 3-10-13]

I wrote a lot about this. And then I locked it in the vault.

SotW 3/3
Jeff Black Bless My Soul

I know why the blackbird sings

His strange and mournful song on a summer's night
I know why the spirit brings
Us back into this world until we get it right

I'm on a roll
And I begin to see the light
Bless my soul
I've been around so many times

I know why the baby cries
It's way into the arms of a mother's love
I know why true love survives
And it is more than the red hot fire of another's touch

I'm on a roll
And I am not afraid to fight
Bless my soul
On a long hot summer's night

I see fair to warn you
That there's nothing here to stop me
From drowning in the darkness
Of the things I can't control

The angel near my heaven
Who I know will always haunt me
Is constant and convincing
I've a long, long way to go

I know why the day is long
When there is no one to talk to about my dreams
I know when the evening comes
That I will know the song of desire that the blackbird sings

I'm on a roll
And I am not afraid to fight
Bless my soul
I've been around so many times

I see fair to warn you
That there's nothing here to stop me
From drowning in the darkness
Of the things I can't control

The angel near my heaven
Who I know will always haunt me
Is constant and convincing
I've a long, long way to go

Song here

In like a lion - SotW [Week of 3-3-13]

Where are they to pick up the pieces, of you. There was no water, or pillows, boxes, or clouds. Not a sinking feeling, not now. I remember stepping off. I remember falling. And I'll never forget that landing.

SotW 3/3

The Weepies World Spins Madly On

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
Let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

And it'll just keep spinning.

I can tell you how the tide works - SotW [Week of 2-24-13]

I hope someone will really see what you only think you saw, in me. That someone will not be able to walk away. There are so many you's. I miss them all differently, and randomly. I do have life going on, but no matter distraction my mind is always on you. Sometimes I can't look at you because I remember every single reason I love you; I haven't felt this since the last time, that one last time. 

SotW 2/24
AWOLNATION Sail

Sail

This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because
I blame it on my A.D.D. baby

This is how an angel dies
I blame it on my own sick pride
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail
Sail
Sail
Sail
Sail

Maybe I should cry for help
Maybe I should kill myself (myself)
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Maybe I'm a different breed
Maybe I'm not listening
So blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail
Sail
Sail
Sail
Sail

La la la la la
La la la la la oh!
La la la la la,
La la la la la oh!
La la la la la,
La la la la la,

Sail
Sail
Sail
Sail
Sail

Sail with me into the dark
Sail
Sail with me into the dark
Sail
Sail with me into the dark
Sail
Sail with me into the dark
Sail
Sail with me into the dark
Sail

Sail

No surprises this year either - SotW [Week of 2-17-13]

Things I need to listen to, words I need to tell myself. The things I hate run into the things I love. Giving in, giving up, moving on, going back for more, and always always knowing it could be worse. Here this letter sits in front of me.

SotW 2/17
James Blake Retrograde

[Few artists make it on my SotW more than once. This is JB's third appearance. I swear, mad genius.]

You’re on your own, in a world you’ve grown
Few more years to go,
Don’t let the hurdle fall.
So be the girl you loved,
Be the girl you loved.

I’ll wait, so show me why you’re strong,
Ignore everybody else,
We’re alone now.
I’ll wait, so show me why you’re strong,
Ignore everybody else,
We’re alone now.

Suddenly I’m hit.
Is this darkness of the dawn?
And your friends are gone,
When you friends won’t come.
So show me where you fit.
So show me where you fit.

I’ll wait, so show me why you’re strong.
Ignore everybody else,
We’re alone now
We’re alone now
We’re alone now
I’ll wait
We’re alone now
We’re alone now
I’ll wait
We’re alone now
We’re alone now
We’re alone now
We’re alone now

Suddenly I’m hit.
Is this darkness of the dawn?
And your friends are gone,
When you friends won’t come.
So show me where you fit.
So show me where you fit.

CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO THIS

Hell, I'm a damn pillar of strength - SotW [Week of 2-10-13]

Every hour is another hour the wiser. Hurting makes sense, from intensity to numbness. And when the routine is heartbreak, we'll fulfill that prophecy. I hate seeing my greatest challenge and my greatest wish right in front of me, experiencing it, and then losing the possibility. You can see in pictures when someone is really smiling - so thankful it was caught, if only in that one moment.

SotW 2/10
The Lumineers Stubborn Love

She'll lie and steal and cheat, and beg you from her knees

Make you thinks she means it this time
She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair
But I still love her, I don't really care

When we were young, oh oh, we did enough
When it got cold, ooh ooh, we bundled up
I can't be told, ah ah it can't be done

It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all
The opposite of love's indifference
Pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out
And I wont leave until you come downstairs

So keep your head up, keep your love
Keep your head up, my love
Keep your head up, keep your love

I don't blame ya dear for running like you did, all these years
I would do the same, you best believe
The highway signs say we're close, but I don't read those things anymore
I never trusted my own eyes

When we were young oh oh, we did enough
When it got cold, ooh ooh we bundled up
I can't be told, ah ah, can't be done

So keep your head up, keep your love
Keep your head up, my love
Keep your head up, keep your love
Head up, love
Head up, love

Vid Link

Who else is dreamin' - SotW [Week of 2-3-13]

I need to give the honesty that I expect. I need to know I am worth everything. I need care, I need assurance, I need what I have always just wanted. I need patience, and comfort, and confidence. I have strength, but I need support.

SotW 2/3

Grant Sabin Dreaming

[Note - lyrics up for debate :) just me and my attempt]

Well I feel it behind my eyes when I'm dreamin'
It's hard to count sheep, when all the sheep are screamin'
And there's no good reason to let the ship stay in disrepair

Let's chop it all up and make a thousand mile ..?
But the angels play a song of the undertone sins

Well just lay me down in the ocean and give me a good push towards the shore
That old lighthouse is callin' me and I ain't treadin water anymore
Cause I can feel it behind my eyes, like a beckoning light when I'm dreamin'
Oh yes, I feel it behind my eyes, like a beckoning light when I'm dreamin'

Well I feel it behind my eyes when I'm dyin'
It's hard to fight back when all your foals are cryin'
And there's no worth tryin' to sail in a sunken vessel

I'll just stare down to the water and wonder if it's there
And the darkness of the deep

Why don't ya just lay me down in the ocean and give me a good push towards the shore
That old lighthouse is callin' me and I ain't treadin water anymore
Cause I can feel it behind my eyes, like a beckoning light when I'm dreamin'
Oh yes, I feel it behind my eyes, like a beckoning light when I'm dreamin'

It burns behind my eyes like a tortured sky when I'm dreamin'

Lend an ear to Grant Sabin

Can't cheat if I don't play your game - SotW [Week of 1-27-13]

Never thought I was very good at tests. But I'll still take them, if that's what's given. If that's what I have to do. There's not much that's not worth this risk.

SotW 1/27
Ed Sheeran Give Me Love

Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone,
Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,
Told you I'd let them go,
And that I'll fight my corner,
Maybe tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood turns into alcohol,
No I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me, or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
And all I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.

Give me love like never before,
'Cause lately I've been craving more,
And it's been a while but I still feel the same,
Maybe I should let you go,
You know I'll fight my corner,
And that tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,
No I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me, or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
And all I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, Oh give me love,
Give a little time to me, or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
And all I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My my, my, my, oh give me love.

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover, M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,
Give me love, lover, M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover, M-my
My, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover.

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover, M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,
Give me love, lover, M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover, M-my
My, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (Love me, love me, love me).

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love), M-my my,
M-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love), M-my my, m-my my,
M-my my, give me love, lover (give me love, love me), M-my my, m-my my,
M-my my, give me love, lover (give me love).

My, my, my, my, Oh give me love, My, my, my, my, Oh give me love, My, my,
My, my, Oh give me love, My, my, my, my, Oh give me love

Give Me Love

Little bit like Marcus - SotW [Week of 1-20-13]

With a heavy heart, and like frozen glass into fire. So ready to walk into and away from, and so addicted.

SotW 1/20
Phillip Phillips Home

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

On a rainy day

Is there guilt there - SotW [Week of 1-13-13]

The other side of the coin has far less promises, and far fewer lies. Far more possibilities, and patience. Who did you push me into? 

SotW 1/13
Coyote Grace Forever's Song

Come with me where the river flows high
I got a blanket and I got the sky
Come with me where the earth is dry
And I cry and I’ll tell you why

Come with me and the birds to the sea
Step in the water, wade to the knee
There is something I want to see
And try to be

Take me down to the county fair
Take me to where there’s water in the air
Take me where the seasons change
And the leaves turn the color of your beautiful hair

Take me on where the wild ones go
Show me the ways, and the wise, and the know
Take me through the ice and snow
Where ever you go

This life ain’t going no one’s way
Sweet Goddess, she’s gonna do what she do
Miss fickle rolls with God in the hay
And leaves him sleeping under the moon
The harvest is done and she ain’t coming back till June

But you sit with me under the tree
The city lights are nowhere in sight
I’m one, I’m kind, I flow, I find
It’s right, it’s right

I see you in white

Come with me where the cliffs get steep
Where you need somebody, trust don’t come cheap
Your head gets clear and the air gets thin
Look into my eyes, take the great leap

Come with me down the road to the end
Moving steady, it’s only a bend
Come and be my closest friend

Take me down where the fire’s built high
Where the human spirit lights up the sky
Take me where the world breaks down
And things are allowed to grow and die

Take me down by the waterfall
Joy to renew, let go of it all
And we will hear the old earth call

But I come up from a different stock
My soul straight from the Drunkard’s Lore
Dirty man gonna go where the wind is hot
Dirty boy, dirty whore, gonna sleep on your floor
Watch him as he begs his mama for more

You lock the door and I leave you sore
I dream at night, you wrap me tight
I’m one, I’m kind, I flow, I find
It’s right, it’s right

I see you in white

Come with me to the grounds below
Come and bury with all we know
The winter and the cold surround
We are warm and living beneath the snow

Come and see what the firelight brings
What comes forth when we dance and sing
Come and be at peace with all things

Take me down by the willow tree
Set me down and let us be
Take my hand and lead me home
To roam as far as the eye can see

Take me on where the days get long
Come up from the ground to the world belong
Sing to me Forever’s song
Forever’s song
Listen here

Never grow tired - SotW [Week of 1-6-13]

The same song, never knew, never loved, never on once, until the first time and it never stopped, on repeat forever after. When you want to slow dance and cry by yourself. And when you're so excited that you're scared. I cannot get enough of this, enough of you, and when we cannot stop, and we cannot not do this. If I begin to list excuses, remind me what it's like to watch the water, the sunset, and a falling star. Remind me what it's like to want forever.

SotW 1/6
James Blake A Case of You (Originally by Joni Mitchell)

Just before our love got lost you said
"I am as constant as a northern star"
And I said "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar"

On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice
You're in my blood, you're my holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling
I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid

I remember that time you told me you said
"Love is touching souls"
But surely you touched mine
Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
You're in my blood, you're my holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
"Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed"

You're in my blood, you're my holy wine
You're so bitter, bitter and so sweet

Oh, I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet
On repeat and repeat and repeat

Forever and never - SotW [Week of 12-30-12]

You don't know this, but I would hold you right now. Some things we listen to we're never really ready to hear. But I hear you. I will never forget when you told me that if I could put my arms around the world, it would be balanced. I am thinking of juries and judgement days, and I am thinking of tall trees and the sun that shines through where you can see the dust. I am thinking of seeing your breath, and the snow, on a cold night. My favorite deck of cards is the one from the Bellagio. How many hands and lifted hearts and broken promises. I miss what I want, I know what I have. I can forget and forget and forget, and always remember.

SotW 12/30
A.A. Bondy Witness Blues

Come out to the edge where it is quiet
Where the ink will drain right out of you
Far below, the sea and its convictions
Get broken by the beach out of your view

And once there was a time to join the army
And once there was a time to hear the news
And once there was a time for easy silence
But now the jury waits for you

You're caught between the mirror and the country
And caught up in a prayer of liars' words
The hounds are on your scent, you must move swiftly
Their spies just tellin' lies of what they heard

And once there was a time to join the army
And once there was a time to hear the news
And once there was a time for easy silence
But now the jury waits for you

So make yourself a mask of chrome and heartaches
And give yourself a hand to turn away
Once you heard a choir when you were dreamin'
And you wish you could remember it today

And there may be a time to join the army
And there may be a time to hear the news
And there may be a time for easy silence
But now the jury waits for you

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